Writing is an arduous journey.  It's not UNLIKE a baby sea turtle's journey to the ocean.  Well, actually theirs is a life-and-death situation, so it is arguably more important, but no less difficult.  When I watched a clutch of straggler babies be helped on their journey to the vast ocean a couple of years ago, it was a life-changing experience, and one of the most moving experiences I'd ever been a part of.  It was the most unifying moment where people came together, regardless of differences, and rallied for LIFE!  It was amazing!  

So, I did what kidlit people do -- I wrote a story about it -- a lovely picture book, which will probably never make it to anyone's shelf because everyone writes beautiful lyrical picture books about sea turtles and their journey to the ocean.  Well, SNAP!  Over time, though, I began to realize that their journey was analogous to our journey as writers, and I began referring to this analogy as I tried to encourage my kidlit family along the way. Recently, as part of the PBParty journey, I shared some of these observations with my ranking party and they asked me to share more widely, so I created a google slide show and a video, and I'm posting it here.  Why?  Because I believe our words have purpose and power.  Because MY words have purpose and power, I hope they will bring you encouragement when you're feeling "not-quite-enough" or way further from your goal than you want to be.  Because I believe YOUR words have purpose and power, too, and you need to share them. The world needs to hear them. 

The video goes into a bit more detail about the sea turtles and the analogy.  If you have time to watch, I think you'll find it interesting.  If you'd rather view the slideshow, here's the link:  ​https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1Pmk3bgoBYPkrbn-h4EQaTwbiy_sbWqof/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=104587931882604493613&rtpof=true&sd=true

This business is so wonky!  It's hard and full of ups and downs!  Just in the way of example, a couple months ago I was riding high.  I got my first heart in PBPitch, had gotten ALL of my pieces accepted for Ignite the Spark and then I won the Mighty KidLit mentorship and I had won a giveaway.  I felt like I was on a roll. I should have bought a lottery ticket in that moment. LOL  Then came all the contest results:  KidLit Choice (I was a finalist last year; didn't even place this year.) Valentiny (No Love at all), 50 Precious Words (which I have been a winner or honorable mention every time I've entered) Not even an honorable mention this year.  PBParty for the third (or is it fourth) time -- not in the finals (even after the mentorship helping me to hone my entry) All of that riding high had gotten my hopes way up for ALL those things, and they were all duds for me. But in the midst of all those losses, this amazing opportunity was working itself out.  I started not to enter PBPitch.  I had posted that same pitch so many times before and had never gotten so much as a nibble.  What was the point after all?!?  But, Hello . . . .a heart. . . an offer. . . .an agent; all from an opportunity I started not to take.

It's a twisty path, friends.  One writer friend in the PBParty ranking group had an agent and probably thought her future was steady and beautiful, but she ended up parting ways and is back in the query trenches.  Today I have an agent and a potential book sale (it's not official or announced). There are no guarantees. Tomorrow or next week or next month I could be singing a different song. I have a dear CP who had an agent and we were so excited for her.  Her agent had health issues and had to step away from agenting. There was no one to pick her up and now she's back in the query trenches.


Here are some principles I've found to be true:

1. It's hard not to be jealous and envious when others (even friends) have success that you want and are working so hard for.  What I found was the more I cheered others on, the more I genuinely felt sheer joy over their success.  And you can feel both at the same time -- joy for them and sadness for you.  Those feelings CAN coexist.  But, the more I was genuinely excited for others, and looking for friends' names on the winning lists, the less sting I felt of my own. It may not work that way for everyone, but it definitely worked for me. It took some time, though.  I didn't get to that place overnight.  If you struggle with comparison, you might find this helpful.

2.  You lose 100% of the chances you don't take.  Sometimes when I get those really hard rejections/passes, I take a small break. Eat some chocolate, drink some wine, have some ice cream (Can you tell I'm an emotional eater?? LOL).Maybe take a walk, take a weekend . . . But don't quit.  Take a little break if needed, but get back on the horse -- and don't wait too long until it feels comfortable not to put yourself out there. Take the chances!  Enter the contests, the pitch parties, send off the queries and the magazine pieces! You never know when your YES is right around that corner, hiding behind that doubt!

3.  Find your why.  If you write for the accolades, then probably best to stop now.  It's risky and not everything will get accolades.  If you write to get published, that's unpredictable.  Crowds are fickle.  If you write because you must, if you write because it's like breathing, if you write because it's how you process and heal and express, then do that.  Learn about craft, find your niche, figure out who you are as an author, and then do that with all your might, all your heart.  Never forget your why.  Why do you write? Write it, frame it, make it your screensaver on your computer.  Meditate on it every day.  For me, I'm a woman of faith, so I have a life verse, "May my words and my thoughts be pleasing to you, Oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer."  It guides what I write -- not only my stories, but my Twitter, and everything I say and do.  It's my why.  Basically, I want my words (written and spoken) to make the world a better place.  Can I do that without being published?  Yes, and I hope I have been for the 4 years that I've been busting  it on this journey (and for all the ones before that when I didn't know as much about writing.)  And, if for some reason publishing doesn't work out, I hope I'll continue doing that.  It's different for all of us, but find your motivation, find your why, and then do it.  Dolly Parton said it this way, "Figure out who you are and then do it on purpose."

None of that fully takes away the sting, but you are a talented writer!  Don't let these phases get you down.  This business is incredibly subjective, but also, Know that all the passes/rejections/not-yets are preparing us, thickening our skin, building our immunity so we can handle the subjectivity that will get hurled at us when we ARE published.  

Stacy McAnulty has been super-successful but she got a terrible review from Kirkus for her latest book about Pluto.  Does that make her less of a writer?  Nope.  She's having to shake that off and keep moving forward. We'll never get to a place when there's not critiques, nay-sayers, negative people, folks who simply don't like us or don't like our writing.  Shake it off!  

I'm now represented by super-agent Joyce Sweeney, and on The Seymour Agency website, under pre-published authors (for now ;-))

​https://theseymouragency.com/pre-published-authors


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